Crazy Clients

Sometimes, I think that I should get a raise for every weird client I see and manage to assist without losing my professional composure.

There's a certain favorite client of mine who likes to bring her beloved Basset "Rosie" into the animal hospital for toe nail trims.  The first time I helped Rosie and her owner, I noticed that the entire office immediately emptied and that I was left alone with her file in my hand. I just figured everyone was having stomach cramps at the same time from eating McDonalds everyday for breakfast, so I went on my way.  Soon, I learned why everyone scattered. 
We put Rosie on the table and she immediately went into a fit of distress. She howled and cried and loud as possible while her mom told her, "You're a good mamma baby Rosie! You're a good mamma baby!" What's a "mamma baby?" I know what a "baby mamma" is, but "mamma baby?"  I began the toe nail trim and immediately Roise yowled an octave higher.  That's when I started to hear singing. Yes, singing.
Apparently when Rosie is upset, her mom sings to her to calm her down. This song goes to the tune of Frank Sinatra's "Pretty Baby", also sung as the "Party Pooper" song sung by our generation.

"Everybody loves a Rosie, that's why I'm in love with you,
Pretty Rosie, pretty baby.
I'd like to be your sister, brother, dad and mother too,
Pretty Rosie, pretty baby (Mamma?)."

As she is once through the song and about to start again, I need help. Mainly because Rosie is squirming and yowling and I only have 3 nails cut, but also because I am about to combust.  I make one of the girls, Staci, from the front desk come and hold Rosie for me, and Rosie's mom commences singing again.  The entire time I just keep thinking, "Don't look at Staci, don't look at Staci!" Then I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It was Staci. Her head was tucked and very red, and her shoulders were shaking so bad I thought she was having a seizure. She stole a glance at me and I lost it. Before I busted I quickly excused myself to go into the hallway and laugh.  Rosie's mom wasn't phased one bit by our rude behavior, she was still just singing away to good ol' Rosie!

Another funny client story happened earlier over the summer.  One of the receptionist came back to let us know that some people were bringing their dog to us, but they were going to bring her in the carrier.  She kinda giggled when she said this and said "it's a little dog in a big carrier". We didn't really think all that much of this so I went out to the lobby to call them in.  I call the name and instantly realize I am going to have a very hard time maintaining professional composure. This very sweet couple has this small 30 lb beagle in a HUGE cage. Not only is this cage huge (at least 4 feet tall and deep) but its so big they have it on wheels. I do pretty well as they roll it down the hallway, but when they try to come through the door and it doesn't fit, I about lose it.  I thought maybe the reason they had this huge cage was because the dog was aggressive, but no, she's as sweet as can be but seems to be a bit shy.  So, I of course have to get down on all fours and climb up and back into her RV of a cage to get her out.  The best part was one of our doctors following them with his camera phone to get a picture to show his wife.

Who else out there has some good crazy client stories?!